I especially love the following:
Rule #293 Don't shout out requests at rock shows. (Please, no more "Watchtower!" from the cheap seats.)
Rule #282 Never swing at the first pitch. But don't be afraid to strike out. No man bats 1,000. (Great advice I received from my own dad, and it can be applied to pretty much every life situation.)
Rule #249 Identify your most commonly used word or phrase, and eliminate it. (Where do I start?)
Rule #239 Never post a photo online you wouldn't feel comfortable showing your mother, your boss, or the dean of admissions. (Amen!)
Rule #213 Go barefoot. It toughens the feet.
Rule #206 Never turn down a girl's invitation to dance. (Hear that, all your 8th-grade boys?)
Rule #189 Learn to drive a stick shift. (I still put my foot on the imaginary clutch.)
Rule #148 When handling a frog, be gentle.
Rule #120 Spend time with your mother. She's cooler than you think.