Sunday, August 29, 2010

The lump in my throat

I'm a mess. Trying to hold it together. But I keep catching myself lost in goopy, mushy nostalgia. I haven't yet pulled out the baby photos, but it's only a matter of time.

I put one of Sweet Boy's hand-me-down outfits on Baby J this morning and caught myself sniffling. Then later in the pool, I was playing with SB and found myself squeezing him (much to his chagrin) and reminiscing about the baby swim lessons we took there together. Not so long ago. This evening I had to leave the room as Big Daddy and SB laid out all his school supplies. And I snuggled with my big boy just a little longer than usual at bedtime, rubbing his head and back until he accused me of "petting him like a kitty" and kicking me out of his room.

All day there has been a lump in my throat and a churning in my belly. I'm not sure if the sobbing or the vomiting will happen first, but they're both there, latent, threatening. The thought of waving goodbye as he gets on that school bus Tuesday is more than I can bear.

Melodramatic? Maybe. Ridiculous? Perhaps. Over the top? Most definitely. But I can't help myself. It's kindergarten. And it's arrived way too fast.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My bouncing baby boy

I finally have a camera that takes decent video. So now you know I'll be spending most of my time making dumb little videos like this:

It should be noted, too, that about 20 seconds after I turned off the camera, Jakers barfed all over himself. As we like to say in my house, bounce til ya' barf, man!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Toes! And other things that are truly fabulous when you're 5 months old

Toes. Don't get me wrong: Fingers are cool and all, but these toe things are amazing. They're small and chewy, perfect for nibbling. Yet they're always just beyond my reach...unless I flex myself, oh yes, just bend a little it! Omnomnomnom. And did you know that you can actually stick your toes through that loop on the end of your binky and launch that thing across the room?! Awesome!

Cats. Fluffy and warm with all these graspy, soft edges I can really sink my fingers into. This one I have also purrs loudly when he plops down next to me; that little vibration next to my ribs really tickles. I think he definitely likes it when I chew on him, too. I don't love the fur stuck to my drool-covered chin, but whatever makes my kitty happy...

Ceiling fans. Have you seen the way this thing just circles round and round and round and round? Mesmerizing. Really. I could watch it all day. And sometimes I do.

Paper napkins. Delicious.

Trees. I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of these things, with their blowy green leaves that shake and rustle and move. My mommy really likes trees too. We laze around on a blanket in the backyard, staring up at the trees and saying things like oooooh.

Big brothers. They make funny faces. And run around making noise all day. Sometimes mine blows on my belly, which cracks me up. He helps me get my binky back in my mouth (after I launched it with my toes, of course), because I really have very little muscle control in my own arms -- thanks, bro. And he hums and sings to me if I feel crabby. Mostly I just like to watch him, everything he does. Because he's so totally cool.