Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Maternity clothes manifesto

Dear Designers, Manufacturers, & Retailers of Maternity Clothing,

We, the expecting moms of the world, have a few requests we'd like you to consider when creating your garments.
  1. Realize that even though we are pregnant, we have not become fashion retarded. Surely you can come up with something other than empire waistlines and ties in the back. And I'd kinda like a dress that doesn't look like a mumuu, thanks.
  2. Underpants still need to stay put even when one is pregnant. There's nothing that puts me in a bad mood faster than standing up and realizing my underwear has drooped into a bunch across my rear.
  3. Please find an alternative to the "under belly" waistband (which doesn't stay up) or full panel (which reaches all the way to my boobs...and still doesn't stay up). I am so tired of pulling up my pants!
  4. Why do all necklines plunge so dramatically? And why are these tops so sheer? Do you really think that now is a time, with the gigantic breasts and the 30 extra pounds that I want to start dressing so provocatively?
  5. It is not OK to charge us twice as much for a top that's half-quality. Seriously. You're just taking advantage of people in a desperate situation.

1 comment:

paddyandhenrysmom said...

I say the perfect solution is a pair of Mork suspenders. Wear 'em with pride!