Monday, February 7, 2011

Sometimes I can't believe they let me have children

A lot goes on here between the hours of 4pm and 8 when Big Daddy gets home. I'm flying solo, without a map -- and often without a parachute. And most nights, when the cherubs are finally filed for the evening in their cozy beds, I sit back and think, man oh man, I cannot believe they let me keep these kids!

Here are some of the strange-but-true happenings in the world of Tall Girl and her Tiny Men this week:

* Flames in the oven. No joke. Fire. Burning tall. Flicking its tongue out the top of the oven door. While pre-heating for a gourmet fish stick dinner. As slightly frantic Mom moves the baby in the high chair and the big brother in his jammies to the front door, Sweet Boy notices the smoky kitchen and asks, "Mommy, are we going to die? OK...then we won't have to eat that."

* Mommy goes King Kong on the Jumperoo because it won't fold right. While Sweet Boy is practicing piano. After kicking the snot out of this seemingly innocent baby toy, screaming like a banshee-gorilla the whole time, she notices SB quietly sobbing on the piano bench...but practicing more earnestly than ever before! Evidently Mommy Kong should come out more often.

* While trying to print out photos for Sweet Boy's "Top Banana" status on a Monday evening, because she completely neglected to look in his book bag over the weekend to notice that he's been chosen for this highest of kindergarten honors, she hears, "Um, Mommy, I think Jakey's going to throw up any minute." Mommy picks up the glassy-eyed, slightly feverish babe, and asks, why do you say that, love? "Because I just fed him Play-Doh." On cue, baby gags and vomits tiny chunks of dried up Play-Doh all over the just printed Top Banana pics. A moment of motherly awesomeness!

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